Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Miracle magnet

I love looking at my magnet board. I collect magnets wherever I go (and of course Christmas ornaments!!!) and I often look at all of them and the pictures attached to the board and think of all the people and places I know and I visited. My board is messy. Very very messy. Not artistically messy. Just messy. It makes me smile when I look at it. James would say ‘remember when we went there?’ or ‘remember when you found this acorn?’ and we both ‘awwwwww’ and ‘ohhhhh’ for a moment. The board takes us to the happy places, reminds us to come out from the ‘every day life room’ and explore. It reminds us that we need to believe in happiness. Happiness is all around us. Happiness is often a result of a miracle. I think this is the message I was supposed to hear today. I found my ‘miracle’ magnet in January on my way home from NY. I was praying in the car, asking for a miracle, asking for a good outcome, asking for better news. I found a magnet. A magnet I forgot about for a few months. Today in the morning I could not take my eyes off of it and I picked it up, put it in my pocket and with a silent prayer brought it to my new doctor. He’s an old school doctor, pretty intimidating. He barely talks and when he does he stops in mid sentences. He has scary equipment and smiles when he sees something encouraging. He was very serious for most of the visit and then he smiled. Not much. But I know I saw a smile. A smile that filled me with so much hope I could not hold my tears back. A smile. I knew he would announce a miracle. Even the smallest miracle would be good. He smiled because I didn’t get ‘any worse’. He called it a progress. 3 out of 10. Possible! 

I laid the magnet on my table. I love that my table is covered with random splotches of dry paint and glue. The magnet fits there. I wanted to escape. I grabbed some paper and glue… I was lost in my art for hours. The tears dried up. Now I was smiling. Not a miracle I was hoping for. I looked down at the canvas. Oh my! Awaken me may not understand what the doctor said but the zoned out me definitely saw and believe the miracle. The tree was in bloom.