Thursday, August 30, 2012

My husband

I’m married! James and I stood looking at each other in a small, enchanted chapel on 7.7.12 and promised each other eternal love. It was a perfect day. Full of laughter. Full of love. Full of friends and family that we adore and that adore us. It was magical. It was nothing like I imagined it. It was a million times better! I was a happy, giddy bride. I woke up with a very swollen face, my dress ripped while I was putting it on, my flowers came dead, my parents weren’t there, DJ played a wrong first song and other disasters happened and all I could do was giggle and enjoy it all. Nothing could upset me that day. The day I married the love of my life, my best friend. There is a picture of James looking at me while I’m walking into the chapel. He’s face says it all. It says ‘Babes I love you SO much’. Tears start dropping down my face even today just thinking of that huge smile on his face. At that moment something changed in me, something I would discover a couple weeks later.
So many people asked me how it is to be married now and if it’s any different and all I can say is that it’s pretty much the same. We love each other the same way we did before, we have the same routines, we laugh at the same jokes and we bicker about the same stuff we did before (no eating in front of TV!). The life is the same. I am different. Seeing my “to be in five minutes” husband’s expression when I walked down the aisle changed how I perceive myself. His love for me is greater than I ever prayed for. His love for me is unconditional. His love goes beyond my sickness, beyond my quirkiness, beyond my moodiness, and beyond anything that is annoying about me. He loves me for who I am and if you ask him ‘what does your wife do?’ he will say ‘she’s an artist but she works for a bank’. He’s given me the confidence I needed to spread my wings and become who I’ve always been deep in my heart.
Being an artist isn’t just my hobby. It’s not just a thing I do in my spare time. It’s not what I do hoping I can make a living (surely that would be nice). Being an artist is letting my soul take over my heart, letting my heart lead my thoughts, letting my thoughts direct my hands. Being an artist is letting everyone see the most vulnerable part of me, the part that has been hidden all those years patiently waiting for a moment when I gain the confidence to claim that old apple tree again and let the wind and sound of whispering leaves take me where my soul longs to be.

Isn't he adorable with this huge smile on his face!!!
Pic taken by my talented friend Lauren 

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